


something to believe in

by playedwright



Series: spierfeld week 2018 [2]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Other, Soooo much fluff, Spierfeld Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-04-21 10:03:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playedwright/pseuds/playedwright
Summary: What goes to say he’ll meet Blue during high school? Maybe they won’t even meet in person until after they graduate, until college, until years from now when they’ve both lived a larger chunk of their lives.God, Simon hopes they don’t have to wait that long.God, he hopes Blue is his soulmate.*In which Simon used to be a cynic when it came to soulmates, but he doesn't mind being persuaded.





	something to believe in

**Author's Note:**

> **written for spierfeld week, with the day two prompt: soulmate au.**
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> i won't lie to you, this is hella cliche. i don't even care. soulmate aus are supposed to be cliche, right? right?
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> (enjoy!)

Simon Spier did not understand the concept of soulmates. The whole thing sounded too “rom-com” cliché, and for a long time he thought it was unrealistic, that there was one perfect person destined for everyone. Even as a kid, Simon found it hard to believe his parents were soulmates; he knew they loved each other, and that they were happier with each other than they’d likely be with other people. But it just seemed—implausible.

 

He was a cynic. Sue him.

 

Until he realized he didn’t see the color blue.

 

Which seems kind of absurd. Simon was pretty sure he knew what blue looked like. Blue was the color of the sky, and the ocean, and the pavement, and the moon—

 

And then someone told him that some of the things he thought were blue were actually grey. And it had floored him.

 

So maybe this soulmate thing wasn’t a hoax. But he was still skeptical of it.

 

Especially since he was gay. Super gay. Did soulmates extend to gay people? Simon couldn’t think of any gay soulmates, and maybe that’s why the whole thing seemed so implausible to him. He didn’t want to exist in a world where the universe decided who he was going to love.

 

Then—the cherry on top—he started emailing a boy from school, another closeted gay kid, someone who was smart and charming and awkward. Someone who went by Blue.

 

And suddenly the idea of soulmates didn’t seem to terrible after all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_ Dear Blue, _

 

_ So I’ve got something crazy to admit. And I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but I kind of have to. Like, I’ll include a list of reasons why I think it’s justified to presume if you’ve asked me. Which is pretty serious business. I don’t make lists for just anyone. _

_ Anyway. _

_ I’ve been thinking a lot about soulmates recently. The whole thing seemed kind of radical to me. Like, how’s the universe gonna know who is perfect for me before I do? _

_ But here’s the crazy part. I can’t see the color blue. _

_ Please don’t hate me for hoping. _

 

_ Love, Jacques _

 

 

* * *

 

 

Blue can’t see yellow. Which is a travesty, because it’s like the greatest color ever.

 

And he likes that Jacques is presumptuous.

 

And Simon likes that Blue likes him being presumptuous.

 

More likely than not, Simon just really likes Blue.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Leah sees purple on the first day of eleventh grade, when she bumps into new girl at school—and she gets so overwhelmed, she starts to cry right in the middle of the hall.

 

Abby Suso swears the only thing better than seeing green was seeing green on the sweater of the prettiest girl she’s ever seen.

 

Not a lot of people meet their soulmates in high school. Except that a lot of people in Simon’s life have—his parents met in high school. Abby and Leah met in high school. Scattered couples throughout their school, even. But statistics say that it doesn’t happen often.

 

Simon holds onto hope.

 

Besides, what goes to say he’ll meet Blue during high school? Maybe they won’t even meet in person until after they graduate, until college, until years from now when they’ve both lived a larger chunk of their lives.

 

God, Simon hopes they don’t have to wait that long.

 

_ God, he hopes Blue is his soulmate. _

 

As much as Simon used to think little of soulmates, his table at lunch seems to talk about it. Especially since Abby and Leah. But hell—since Blue, he doesn’t even mind that much.

 

“I think the soulmate thing is pretty awesome,” pretty much sums up Abby’s thoughts, but she’s holding Leah’s hand and hasn’t stopped smiling in three and a half months. “I’m serious. So what if the universe decides? It knocked it out of the park with me and Leah! Thanks, universe!”

 

Leah blushes. “You’re so embarrassing,” Leah mutters. But four months ago, her opinion on soulmates had been a simple retort:  _ grow up _ . And loathe as she is to admit it, she hadn’t really stopped smiling since Abby, either.

 

“I think the only thing that really sucks about the whole soulmate thing is trying to go through high school,” adds Nick. “Like, the whole thing already kind of sucks and you’re so confused, and to make matters worse you get your hopes up about this girl, or guy, or whatever, and the second you touch them you know if things are going to last or not. High school is bad enough without all this added stuff.”

 

He has a point. High school is the worst.

 

“Just don’t get your hopes up,” Garrett suggests around a mouthful of food. “That’s what I do.”

 

“You’re dead inside, that doesn’t count,” Bram mutters. The table erupted into giggles, which makes Bram blush. Simon gets kind of distracted by it.

 

“I don’t know,” Simon muses. He pushes his food around his plate with his fork. “I think the soulmate thing might not be all that bad.”

 

The entire table blinks at him.

 

“Who the hell turned Simon Spier into a romantic?” Leah asks.

 

Simon flushes. “No one,” he says defensively.

 

“Aww, I think Simon is finally ready to see blue,” laughs Abby.

 

“What?” Bram asks.

 

Garrett nudges Bram’s arm. “Spier can’t see blue, get your head in the game.” Then he blinks. “Why do I know that.”

 

“I’m pretty sure you know everything about everyone,” Nick tells him. “You're worse than Simon is when it comes to gossip. Seriously, you know everyone’s secrets, it’s kind of insane.”

 

Garrett grins. “Sad but true.”

 

But Simon can’t get Abby’s words out of his head; he  _ is  _ ready to see blue.

 

Both versions.

 

 

* * *

 

 

_ Dear Jacques, _

 

_ Call me crazy, but your email makes a lot of sense. I know I said anonymity served a purpose in our emails, but I can’t pretend that I’m not going crazy imagining who you are. Talk of soulmates has gone rampant at school recently, and all I can think about is how much I want to kiss you. I can't believe I just typed that. I can't believe I’m going to press send. _

_ Since I’m already being brave—yes. I want to know who you are, too. _

 

_ Love, Blue _

 

 

* * *

 

 

So, Simon is basically on cloud nine.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They decide to meet at the carnival, which is four days away. Which means, Simon is going literally crazy. Seriously, he thought not knowing before was bad. He has no fucking idea how he’s going to make it through the day.

 

Abby gives him weird looks all throughout English. He knows he looks insane. He’s bouncing in his seat and can’t keep his hands still, and looks at the clock every five minutes. Like a part of him is hoping that it’ll magically be the night of the carnival. If magic like soulmates can exist, why the hell can't they make time go by  _ a little freaking faster. _

 

Even Bram Greenfeld is looking at him curiously, and Simon can count on one hand the number of actual conversations he’s had with the guy. Which is kind of sad, since Simon’s crush on him used to be ridiculous. Until he started talking to an anonymous boy named Blue.

 

_ Blue Blue Blue. _

 

God, Simon’s heart can't take much more of this.

 

Then Mr. Wise hands back a paper that doesn’t have Simon’s name on it.

 

Simon rolls his eyes. How long has he been in this class—and does Mr. Wise  _ seriously  _ have Simon and  _ Bram Greenfeld  _ confused.

 

So he leans over his desk and taps Bram’s shoulder. He almost gets distracted by how soft Bram’s grey sweater is, which is a ridiculous thing to be distracted by. Bram’s eyes are wide when he turns around. “I think this belongs to you,” Simon whispers, pushing the paper towards Bram. “As much as I’d love to keep the score.”

 

Bram gives him a small laugh, takes the paper, and turns back around in his desk. Simon shakes his head; as cute as Bram is, Simon has always wondered what was going on inside the guy’s head. He’s too quiet for his own good, but Simon is pretty sure that he’s actually a pretty funny guy—

 

Wait.

 

Bram’s sweater—

 

Bram isn’t wearing a grey sweater.

 

He’s wearing a  _ blue  _ sweater.

 

_ Simon can see blue! _

 

“Holy god,” Simon whispers. Bram is his soulmate. Bram Greenfeld is his soulmate. Simon might be having an actual heart attack in the middle of English class, and no one is noticing.  _ Holy god!  _ Is Bram freaking out? Has Bram even noticed? How have Bram and Simon never touched before? How long have they been sharing a circle of friends, a lunch table? How long have they been wasting time?

 

Simon’s heart stops beating.

 

_ What about Blue? _

 

He feels like he’s going to be sick.

 

He raises his hand. “Mr. Wise, can I be excused?” he gasps. He barely stays to hear the answer before he’s sprinting out of the room. He doesn’t make it very far, which is fine, because all he really needed was to be alone for a second. He leans against a wall in the empty hallway and tries to count his breaths.

 

Then someone puts their hand on his back.

 

Simon raises his head.

 

“Are you okay?” Bram asks, quietly. His eyes are concerned, his voice as gentle as it always is, and something eases in Simon’s stomach.  _ Bram _ .

 

He nods.

 

Bram says, “You’re wearing a yellow shirt.”

 

Simon’s heart skips a beat.

 

He hopes—

 

“And you’re wearing a blue sweater,” Simon tells him.

 

There’s an awkward beat where all they do is stare at each other. Bram’s hand is still on Simon, even as Simon shifts so he can face Bram. His back, his shoulder, tracing down his arm—it’s like Bram can’t  _ stop  _ touching him now. Simon still can’t believe they’ve never touched before.

 

Then he smiles.

 

“Did you know blue and yellow are complementary colors?” Simon asks.

 

Bram laughs. “Blue and orange, actually.”

 

Simon blinks. “Well, I’m pretty sure it should be blue and yellow. They go together better anyway. Plus, when you mix them together, you get green which is like the second best color ever. And don’t even get me started on bluegreen—”

 

“Jacques?” Bram asks, cutting Simon off. Simon wonders, briefly, if Bram has ever interrupted anyone before  _ in his life _ , before his entire brain short-circuits and shuts down temporarily. Bram just asked him if he’s Jacques, which means he’s…

 

“Oh my god,” Simon breathes. “I freaking knew it.”

 

The smile that splits Bram’s face at this moment is worth all the waiting Simon did to get to this moment. Simon seriously wants to kiss him, which he thinks might be a half-insane thought since they’re in the middle of their high school hallway and also Simon is still pretty sure he’s having a heart attack.

 

“Oh,” Bram laughs. His hand is wrapped around Simon’s wrist now. “Knew I was Blue or knew Blue was your soulmate?”

 

Simon kind of blanks as Bram’s fingers brush against his. Seriously, his heart rate is probably off the charts right now. “I mean,  _ god _ , both, I mean I hoped both, but I didn’t want to assume and I didn’t want to get my hopes up and holy shit this is so much better than I ever could have imagined, like—”

 

“You’re rambling,” whispers Bram.

 

Simon nods. He goes, “Someone should probably shut me up.”

 

Bram says, “I think I can do that.”

 

And Simon  _ does  _ have his first kiss in the middle of a hallway in his high school, holding the hand of the boy he’s been falling in love with for the past few months  _ and  _ the boy he’s been pining over for years, still unable to wrap his head around the fact that they’re the same person. But that might be because he’s a bit dizzy; Bram turns out to be an  _ excellent  _ kisser.

 

“Damnit, I was going to kiss you on top of the Ferris Wheel,” Simon whines when Bram rests his forehead against his. He can feel Bram’s breathless laughter. “I was going to buy you popcorn even if you wouldn’t eat it since you get so nauseated about carnival rides.”

 

Bram says, “They’d be okay, if I was sitting next to you.”

 

“Even Tilt-A-Whirl?”

 

Bram kisses him again, softly, and it leaves Simon breathless. “I’d even ride the Tilt-A-Whirl for you,” he says. Then he laughs. “I must really like you.”

 

Simon twines his hands into the front of Bram’s shirt, pulling him down for another kiss. “Good,” Simon whispers.

**Author's Note:**

> btw garrett and cal are soulmates and fall in love over the summer thanks for coming to my tedtalk
> 
>  you can find me [here](https://tonytangredis.tumblr.com/).
> 
> comment, kudos, bookmark below!


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